Sacred Cows

The X Chromosome

Christmas Baby

What a momentous year! After half a decade of unexplained infertility (i.e. stress!)... I am pleasantly shocked to be expecting a second baby. I confess that in moving to India and attempting to get back to work, this sudden pregnancy did slightly pull the rug from under my feet. But the idea that by Christmas, there will be another child in our lives - a sibling for my son - is so delightful and sweet! And now that the nausea is gone, I couldn't be more content.

Boy or girl?

Any expecting couple is curious to know. And we're no different. The thought of buying little dresses... brushing a little girl's hair... watching her grow into a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman... and sharing all I've learned with her, regularly brings tears of joy to my eyes.

But here in India, that microscopic thread of X chromosome can prove deadly for a baby girl:

10 million missing Indian girls

I did the above report for BBC World TV back in 2006. And believe it or not, the problem is actually getting worse. Latest statistics show that the number of wealthy, educated Indians aborting baby girls is growing. Sex ratios are now so skewed, experts are predicting a breakdown of society within a generation.

"If sex ratios stay the same, 600,000 missing girls this year will become, in 18 years’ time, over 10m missing future brides. Robbery, rape and bride-trafficking tend to increase in any society with large groups of young single men." - The Economist, Apr 7th 2011

It's already happening in places like Harayana state, where female foeticide has been rampant for decades.

So why on earth does a girl engender such loathing in some prospective parents?

Return to INDIA!

~By Anu Anand Hall

Finally! Finally! After four postponed departure dates, we've arrived back in Delhi!!

First Impressions 

So... how has India changed?? Well, the capital has a brand new international airport. And while the carpet is particularly nauseating... (ugly doesn't do it justice, and yet, the design was apparently well thought out!) ... the terminal itself is refreshingly large, bright and modern.

And at first glance, the city too has been transformed for the better. There are no longer medieval road works and half-finished metro stations to negotiate when driving around. Traffic flows better. There are road signs everywhere to point you in the right direction. The re-vamped Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium, where the Commonwealth Games opening and closing ceremonies were held, is an impressive landmark. And the Metro, which has opened dozens of new stations in all new directions, is quite simply, world-class (elevators to streets and platforms, electronic ticketing, air-conditioned trains with mobile phone signals, well-enforced 'Women Only' carriages! Better than the London Underground or NYC Subway any day!)

There are other changes: foreigners everywhere you look. Every neighborhood, block and building seems to have at least one European, Malaysian, Filipino, American, British, Canadian, Chinese, Korean or African expatriate on a stint working in India. And they're all forming Yahoo! Groups, exchanging information, banding together on new businesses and projects... Hooray! I'm all for the world coming to India! Or as one fellow expat put it so well:  "...nice to live in a very tiny cobweb in a nation of one billion."

And of course, India's capitalist culture is booming: new stores, malls, products and services from organic foods, toys, designer clothes, furniture, design, animation, medical tourism, leisure, new restaurants, cafes, bars, music... you name it, it's here somewhere!

Lonely Planet

Massi plots a wicked carom move:

    We've had a few visitors -- my Massi, who's a carom pro, came and showed all the young whipper-snappers what for in between bridal shopping for her daughter all over sweltering Delhi.
    Tony, our Mexican photographer friend from London got dumped in Dubai on his way to Kabul. So he ended up in Delhi for a day at a sumptuous suite in the Taj Mansingh, which he had to abandon at the ungodly hour of 4 a.m.

We have broadband, but no water...

~By Anu. "What's holding India back?" asks the front cover of last week's Economist. The magazine believes India's bloated and inefficient bureaucracy is bleeding India dry.

    Of course, I haven't had time to read the Economist all week, because Jalil and an ever expanding circle of builders have been pounding away in the kitchen. Not content with the noise from sledge hammers hitting stone... they've also spent much time arguing at the top of their lungs. Jalil quarrelled with the man fitting rusted metal supports in the walls to hold the new countertops (one of which is almost at breast-level- great for Tarquin, not so good for my cleavage!) Then, he quarrelled loudly with the man who came to install glass in several windows, finally dismissing him angrily. Lucky for us, a second guy held his nerve long enough to finish the work and there are no longer mosquitoes pouring into the flat by night.

Infertility - a Londoner's Guide

~By Anu. When I was young, I remember watching a Hindi film in which a lovely starlet, who played a good, pious wife, couldn't have children. She was taunted, shunned and called a 'bhaanj', which means 'defeat', as well as a more cruel and piercing insult: 'barren'.

The film came to mind again while talking to a friend who is very similar to me in age, background and career. Unbeknownst to me, she's been trying for the better part of four years to have children, unsuccessfully. She's struggled through it with her husband alone, as she doesn't have family nearby. The word barren came up. She said someone had used it in her presence, and she'd nearly crumpled.

As we talked, I realized how little I knew about fertility, much less infertility, so my friend has kindly taken the time to share all the info she's gathered. Thankfully, most of us will never have to think about it. But if you do find yourself in the same boat, I hope this post will help you. And please let me know if you've come across info you'd like to share (anonymously, of course).

The tyranny of Efficiency

~By Anu. I was just staring at the champagne coloured apple blossoms on the tree in our London garden. Tarquin (who's been too busy to blog) was putting wet clothes out to dry....

    We've been back in London for a few weeks now (though we plan to return soon). I hate saying goodbye. The final few days, I felt like I was trying to soak in every last, loud detail. I wrote down recipes for all the things I've enjoyed eating (peanuts with lemon and chillies...curd rice...basil, honey and mint drink).
    I managed to get in one last hot oil head massage, one last manicure & pedicure, a last, long gossip... a final taste of all the street food I love...and some really-really-last minute shopping! My penultimate act when I leave India is to buy a small garland of jasmine to take with me on the plane. The lingering scent fades slowly, allowing me to hang on just a little bit longer....

 

No Hawnkers?

Seen around Delhi

Sign in our local park: